Wednesday, March 17, 2010

Devotional Snapshot 51 - My Daughter

"When we've given all our questions to God, when we're not grumbling about the past or anxious about the future, when our tomorrows are in His keeping, we are free to wake up every morning and say, "God, You've given me today as a gift. Show me how to glorify You in it." Calm My Anxious Heart- Linda Dillow pg.191, 192

Isaiah 43:18, 19 "Do not remember the former things, nor consider the things of old. Behold, I will do a new thing, now it shall spring forth; Shall you not know it? I will even make a road in the wilderness and rivers in the desert."

Little pot-bellied girls, bare foot and mud splattered, fill their empty bottles with wet sand and dirt. Brown haired, yellow haired girls, very busy making mud hills as it oozes between fingers and toes. Splashing and dripping, happily intent on their childish project. No thought for tomorrow, no worry for today.

Soft shiny hair falls carelessly across their rosy full cheeks. One collects stones from the shallow stream, another grabs a floating leaf. The sun warms the rocks from which they balance and bounce around their happy play.

I remember my own little girl who once played with such abandon. Once rosy cheeked, pot bellied, shiny hair and very happily content with the sticks and stones and mud of her imagination. Only the joy to be had today mattered. She carried no guilt for yesterdays follies and she bore no fear of tomorrows.

Now I see her strained, worried, thinner, and uneasy. Driven is the word I give her now--and I cry for what I lost, what I created. Always hurrying her to grow up-- and now, dear Lord, take me back. Let me do it over. Let me keep her young of heart. Give her back. Make her a child again; free of issues--money, men, appearance, exams, jobs, friends, debt, her parents. Give her back, dear Lord, let me start over again!

I can't. He won't. The past is gone. The regrets immense. My parenting over. Her parenting begins. It's too late. Will I ever look at little girls at play without sorrow flooding my soul for the little one I lost?

And then there is You. You speak. You comfort. You remind me what has always been there...Your word of truth. Isaiah 43:18,19 "Do not remember the former things, nor consider the things of old. Behold, I will do a new thing..." Give up the past to Him. He is about new things. He is about creating, healing, binding up, setting free. 2Corinthians 5:17 "Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation; old things have passed away; behold, all things have become new."

He's taking care of my little girl now. He's in the business of new things. He gives abundant life to her. He knows her prison and has the key and gently leads her out the door. His love for her is better than life.

On second thought, don't give her back to me. Don't turn back the clock. I would make the same mistakes and some new ones. No, You take her.

Little girl lost, little girl found.

"Peace wraps around your heart when you're able to trust God for just today and not be burdened with the 'If Onlys', the 'What ifs'. and the 'Whys'." Calm my Anxious Heart -Linda Dillow

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